Lobster Rolls and AssMans
Last weekend I went on a business retreat. There were 5 of us from Let's Go, and about 20 kids from Harvard Student Agencies. Fortunately, we were the last car to arrive at our rental house in Assbackwards, Maine. This meant that all of the HSA guys (and they're mostly guys, let's be honest) had taken every single one of the 15 or so beds in the house, and being the homophobic (insert insulting noun, plural) that we all know they are, they were extremely angry that we wanted them to give up a couple of beds. If HSA were a hostel owner, they would NOT get a thumbpick. Not nobody, not nohow.
Having achieved total bedification, we proceeded to be groped, bossed, and generally mistreated. Except by Nahu and Caleb, who are god's angels on Earth. Does this make them fallen angels? Maybe. But they could probably sing better (a capella joke for Jill--woop, woop!). However, the weekend included many moments of awesomeness as well, such as the following conversation:
HSA Assistant Manager 2: [Says lots of really pretentious, stupid things, mostly to Seth, our publishing director.]
Alexandra: Um, do you even know who you're talking to?
HSA AssMan 3, or 2, or whatever: Um, uh, no...
Perhaps, not knowing the HSA kids or Alexandra, this doesn't sound that awesome. Perhaps, you think, Adrienne is simply not funny. I assure you that the awesomeness far exceeds my funniness in both scope and magnitude.
Other awesome things that happened include: sneaking out to get lobster rolls (which were, according to Nahu, verboten) from The Angler, a restaurant which was, to our best estimation, Authentic and filled with Locals. Also, Katherine and I were the Queen of Tarts and Piemaster, respectively. We rocked the apple pies like we rocked your mother's world. Ahahahaha. (Again, you think, Adrienne is not funny. You are probably wrong--this time.)
To finish:
Ten Signs You Work for HSA
(You probably won't get this unless you have. In which case you won't find it funny. But whatever.)
- You refer to your office by number (“67” or “17”).
- You turned down a banking internship to haul water coolers (it was only Fidelity, anyway).
- You’re pretty sure Dolly hates you (she does).
- You got an A in Ec 1010a, but never really understood what was wrong with monopolies…
- You got a C in Moral Reasoning.
- You have a great idea for a new agency: HSA Lemonade. It’s brilliant, and this time little Timmy McAllister from down the street can’t out-compete you (because hey, Timmy’s business doesn’t have the full cooperation of the dean’s office).
- The best part of your lemonade plan is that those hippie travel kids upstairs have to share your corporate overhead—score!
- Your father is a board member (but that has nothing to do with the new position they created just for you).
- For you, the “One Ring” has nothing to do with hobbits (but it will still rule them all…yes, my precioussss…).
- You have no idea that sweater vests have gone out of style.
Having achieved total bedification, we proceeded to be groped, bossed, and generally mistreated. Except by Nahu and Caleb, who are god's angels on Earth. Does this make them fallen angels? Maybe. But they could probably sing better (a capella joke for Jill--woop, woop!). However, the weekend included many moments of awesomeness as well, such as the following conversation:
HSA Assistant Manager 2: [Says lots of really pretentious, stupid things, mostly to Seth, our publishing director.]
Alexandra: Um, do you even know who you're talking to?
HSA AssMan 3, or 2, or whatever: Um, uh, no...
Perhaps, not knowing the HSA kids or Alexandra, this doesn't sound that awesome. Perhaps, you think, Adrienne is simply not funny. I assure you that the awesomeness far exceeds my funniness in both scope and magnitude.
Other awesome things that happened include: sneaking out to get lobster rolls (which were, according to Nahu, verboten) from The Angler, a restaurant which was, to our best estimation, Authentic and filled with Locals. Also, Katherine and I were the Queen of Tarts and Piemaster, respectively. We rocked the apple pies like we rocked your mother's world. Ahahahaha. (Again, you think, Adrienne is not funny. You are probably wrong--this time.)
To finish:
Ten Signs You Work for HSA
(You probably won't get this unless you have. In which case you won't find it funny. But whatever.)
- You refer to your office by number (“67” or “17”).
- You turned down a banking internship to haul water coolers (it was only Fidelity, anyway).
- You’re pretty sure Dolly hates you (she does).
- You got an A in Ec 1010a, but never really understood what was wrong with monopolies…
- You got a C in Moral Reasoning.
- You have a great idea for a new agency: HSA Lemonade. It’s brilliant, and this time little Timmy McAllister from down the street can’t out-compete you (because hey, Timmy’s business doesn’t have the full cooperation of the dean’s office).
- The best part of your lemonade plan is that those hippie travel kids upstairs have to share your corporate overhead—score!
- Your father is a board member (but that has nothing to do with the new position they created just for you).
- For you, the “One Ring” has nothing to do with hobbits (but it will still rule them all…yes, my precioussss…).
- You have no idea that sweater vests have gone out of style.
posted by A at 12:01 PM
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