J is for Jerk
The one high point to my otherwise shit- and crap-bespeckled weekend (see Format Manual, p. 59) was that Ansel and I went to visit Steph in the heavily-Jewish neighborhood of Coolidge Corner. This was amazing because 1. I spent time with people who aren't crazy while relishing matzo ball soup, and 2. I acquired two loaves of challah for $6 apiece. (Having now worn the phrase "six-dolla challah" to shreds, along with "knish me" and "challah back," I shall not further belabor my aspirations to Judaism.)
If you're wondering why my weekend was such a shitshow, you probably haven't been around to hear my kvetching for the last two days. Lucky you. I've tried to keep it to a minimum, though, and Dusty said it wasn't a problem, so I think most of it has been in my head. If you really want to know, I'll tell you, but otherwise let's stick with the lessons learned, however cryptic:
1. Men are jerks. (Except for you. Yes, you. Unless your name begins with a "J," in which case you are, in fact, a jerk.)
2. You can't always get what you want (a point already made by the Rolling Stones), even if it's a quarter of an inch away (my addition).
3. Pearls make me happy.
4. Dorchester is to be avoided at all costs.
5. Lesbians make everything better.
6. Publicly masturbating to Nazi cinema is even sketchier than it sounds. (For the record, this is NOT an activity in which I have engaged. Ever. Nor is it, as was argued, "subversive," even if you're gay and Jewish. Mostly it's just rude.)
If you're wondering why my weekend was such a shitshow, you probably haven't been around to hear my kvetching for the last two days. Lucky you. I've tried to keep it to a minimum, though, and Dusty said it wasn't a problem, so I think most of it has been in my head. If you really want to know, I'll tell you, but otherwise let's stick with the lessons learned, however cryptic:
1. Men are jerks. (Except for you. Yes, you. Unless your name begins with a "J," in which case you are, in fact, a jerk.)
2. You can't always get what you want (a point already made by the Rolling Stones), even if it's a quarter of an inch away (my addition).
3. Pearls make me happy.
4. Dorchester is to be avoided at all costs.
5. Lesbians make everything better.
6. Publicly masturbating to Nazi cinema is even sketchier than it sounds. (For the record, this is NOT an activity in which I have engaged. Ever. Nor is it, as was argued, "subversive," even if you're gay and Jewish. Mostly it's just rude.)
posted by A at 7:14 AM
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