Listmania

Things that should make me happy, but don't:
+ Being accosted by random men, who walk next to me and tell me I'm cute, then swear they're "heartbroken" to find out that I'm dating someone. (N.B.: This isn't about me; it's a really common thing in Cambridge. Everyone here is bonkers.)
+ Finding out my boyfriend has a job lined up for next year, for which they will pay him an absurd amount of money. No, really. ABSURD.

Things that shouldn't make me happy, but do:
+ My parents' divorce will be final in early December. Go Mom!
+ The guy who was walking in front of me on my way back from the gym last night, and who stopped, turned around, looked at me, and emphatically yelled, "Motherfucker! I am not going to jail! You can fucking go to hell!" (Bonkers.)

Things I suspect, but can't conclusively prove:
+ Blondes get more attention from random men than do brunettes. (This is supported by circumstantial evidence gathered both before and after I dyed my hair brown. Being a good scientist, I must also admit the possibility that I've just become uglier.)
+ The existence of Mongolia.
+ My sister is much hotter than I am (despite being a brunette).